Followers

Sunday 4 March 2012

Trust Me, It Does Get Better...


Me now
For those that have read my blog before you’ll know that it’s very rare for me to actually do a personal post, the main reason is that (believe it or not) I don’t like talking about myself, especially my private life.

So, why do a personal post at all...

Well, I was recently asked to share a Doctor Who themed Anti Bullying page via Facebook. However rather than just share the page and then forget about it I’ve decided to share a few of my own experiences, the idea being if reading about what I went through helps someone else then it’s a positive thing.

On one of my early school reports my teacher described me as “an intelligent, friendly and extremely sensitive boy who my preferred his own company to that of others and showed issues with socialising”. In other words, I was never going to be one of the cool kids...

In my younger days I also had the issue of my mouth not being big enough for my jaw, the result my teeth stuck out which didn't look great.

So you’re now getting a picture of me as a boy, sensitive and a bit of a loner with sticky out teeth... Great! Then to this you need to add the fact that I wasn’t sporty and was a wargamer (you know, toy soldiers and tanks) and also didn’t really do popular music (the first album I ever owned was Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf). All this combined meant I may as well have painted a big ol’ target on my chest saying ‘Bully me, you know you want to”.

As you can imagine I was bullied, a lot, from the age of about 7 to 17 to be honest with you.

Take it from me; it’s not nice and definitely not fun!

Back in the day, yep I was cool!
The sad thing is that I know bullying will probably always take place, you’re welcome to disagree with me but it is human nature to pick on those that are seen as different, it doesn’t matter the reason it’s going to happen at some point.

For me people had a selection of reasons to choose from, but they normally went for the obvious one, how I looked. The name Goof or Goofy was something that I was very familiar with!

But actually, it doesn’t really matter what actually happened to me when I was younger, why? Because I got through it and am a stronger person as a result.

The key thing to remember, if you’re feeling down or are being picked on, tell someone. Remember, you are not alone, if you tell somebody then it can be dealt with, no one has the right to make you feel bad or belittle you.

Everyone has the right to be themselves.

The reverse also applies, if you’re about to make a joke about someone stop and think, how would I feel if it was me. Just because someone makes a joke about you doesn’t make it ok for you to make jokes about other people.

Life should not be an eye for an eye; it should be do on to others as you would have them do to you.


The Guild: I'm the One That's Cool!


10 comments:

  1. yeah i know what its like too, i dont like opening up but seeing this its made me feel better about myself especially seeing how well you've done. though now i've learned to bite back which probably isnt the best idea but nobody was ever around at the time so i learned to stick up for myself. i only have one true friend but i've always said that friends are all about the quality than the quantity and she's like a diamond :) xx

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    1. I'd fully agree friends really are quality over quantity, I'd much rather have a few close friends than lots of people that I hardly know.

      Depends what you mean by 'biting back', there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and refusing to be a target but it all depends on how you go about doing it, ie don't punch them as you'll probably end up in trouble...

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    2. Well Done for being a strong person I too was bullied at. School and also in the work place. I say send all bullies away on a Dessert island together let them get on with it

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  2. You are amazing Matt! I thought I was bullied a lot! I had a lot of drama with friends and I got cussed out just for wearing a flower in my hair at me new school. I had to move from Utah to South Carolina. Trust me,being the new kid is never fun. I fell in love with doctor who and everyone made fun of me cos they didn't know what it was. You are a great person! Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the only one in the world!

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    1. Awww thanks :)

      That was the intention of the post really, just to say to people that they aren't the only one and that things will get better.

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  3. Hi Matt. It is inspirational to find someone who, as a bit of a role model to kids (& adults) Doctor Who, you have been very honest and open with your bullying experiences. You are right bullying is part of the ugly side of human nature. It will always go on, but no one has that right to make another human feel humiliated or belittled. At school I was never part of the in crowd, but I had a great sense of humour and could make people laugh. I have never been thin and all my life I have been perceived as "jolly" cos I have put on a "brave" face and laughed comments off, even laughed with the person who has said something about my weight or my love of such things as Doctor Who! Why did I do that? I guess my humour helped me cope. We are all different and I have learned that I am ok actually, I will never be thin, but as I have got older (as soon as I left school actually...all those years ago lol) I have learned I am a stronger person for it. Yeah I wish I could jump in my TARDIS and go back in time and deal with the bullies, but alas...we move on, we grow and we do learn to grow into ourselves. We also get to know true friendship...life does get better! I know I am one of millions of people like yourself who have been targeted, and it is only really now I am able to share a snippet of my experience. I have found my Whovian voice through Craig Hurle's Doctor Who page, chatting to likeminded people is fab. Thank you for sharing your experience Matt, and yes as I thought, you are indeed a lovely man (and you were a very cool kid):)x

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    1. I really was never a cool kid, lol :)

      The old saying is true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

      If by sharing experiences it helps someone who is going through the same thing then it makes when I was bullied actually count for something rather than just being one of those things that happens :)

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  4. I was bullied when I was younger, I wanted to slit my wrists at times too, but I didn't, I'm still here, I'm still going, because it wasn't a case of it's better for me to leave this world... more of, what about those who will miss me?

    So I kept going for two other person... my mum and my late dad (R.I.P.) and I'm proud to be who I am, I don't care about those who would disagree, as long as my family and friends respect what I like (which they do, and it's Doctor Who) then what can I say? My life is better now, I have friends who respect me, I got to portray The Doctor for charity (I know I look nothing like Tennant or Smith but it did raise money, and I was brilliant as Tennant) and I have my own Time Lord name now... I am The Professor!

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  5. I was bullied in school and as an adult for being over weight. Even though I'm losing the weight people still make fun of me but I have learned to love the me I am now because there is no one else like me. Believe it does get better. I think others bully people who are different is because they aren't comfortable with you they are as a person and are miserable so they want to make others feel bad about themselves to make the bully feel better. All I know is that I am comfortable in my own skin and that is all that matters. Matt thanks for sharing you story and it will give hope to others.

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  6. Matt, you are such an amazing person. I, too, was bullied pretty much every day that I went to school. I was always the "fat girl", and once even got beat up after school over it. I have heard every derogatory fat comment there is. I'm currently trying very hard to lose weight, but even as an adult, I've been bullied (by other adults!). It's horrible. I managed to survive and become a very strong person. Even though I'm still heavy, I have a very happy life (house, 3 amazing kids, wonderful hubby, new puppy). You just have to ignore the haters, and know that life will go on, and it will be amazing.

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